When we’re young, we tend to run after the people we think we want running after us. The popular kids. The pretty girls. You know.
By my mid-twenties, I realized a good litmus test for friendship was someone who was willing to pick me up from the airport. Nobody wants to do it. But a real friend will. If they can.
For me, the cornerstone of friendship is caring. Friendship doesn’t need perfection to bloom. It thrives on caring.
It’s easy to tell who doesn’t care. They flake. They lie. They justify. They aren’t there when you need an ear. Or a shoulder. In short – They don’t give a shit.
A new friend and I were talking about friendship the other day. It got me wondering – what do others consider a friend? So I put it out to my magnificent social network:
“A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are.”
“A friend is someone who you are there for when they need someone, and who will be there for you too when you need someone.”
“depth, mutual respect and empathy.”
“Someone who you’ve already had war with and still hangs out with you.”
“somebody who is nice to hang with mostly, someone who you can call, someone who calls you back. backup , when you need it. and someone you will backup when they need it.”
“Someone who knows your worst & still is willing to put up with it.”
“Some one you can confide in and they never repeat it. Someone you treat with respect and know that they believe in you. Someone you Never lie to. Some one that when they call it can make your day. I have a grown Grandson and 2 men that meet that standard. Nothing you could say they wouldn’t know out me. Oh and thank More of you than you deserve. I’m Blessed !”
“A unicorn, You!!! You should be your best friend, also me and someone who you feel that you can always be your true authentic self with and will always accept you. Also someone whom while you spend time with and even after you leave their presence you feel great not awkward or less than or any anyway inadequate. Someone you know that if you ever call on, will be there, and someone who knows how to say sorry and I forgive you. From one unicorn to another…Namaste!!!”
“Thank you Shana Stein for posing this question. It is ironically my theme for 2013 hence we dedicated the Texas Yoga Conference to friendship LOVE IT! I will never forget meeting you at the Dallas event at Crowe. :)I learned the opposite of what a real friend can be in the last couple of years so honoring that which is real makes me vibrate only higher and make the bad so much more worth the trouble. HONOR. Friends honor.”
“Hmmm. I know one when I have one. And I definitely know how to (be) one too.”
“was thinking about that very question today! realizing/learning so much the older i get. most people are there just to pass the time. only a select few stick around for the nitty gritty, and those are the real gems.”
“Somebody who even though they aren’t your blood… You still consider them family.”
“I think a friend is someone whose company you enjoy, you feel free to share your innermost thoughts and feelings knowing that there is no judgement and what you say will go no further and they will always keep your confidence. You both feel uplifted and happy when in each others company.”
Awesome input, right?! Whether you know it yet or not – YOU are awesome. So you deserve awesome friends. And they’re out there waiting for you. Just maybe not in the packages you expect.
Cherish the ones who cherish you. And quit wasting your time chasing those who, for one reason or another, don’t pick up what you’re throwing down.