For years I’ve said that I feel “slightly less alive” in a relationship than when I’m single. An odd dichotomy, since I also ultimately prefer being in a relationship.
At some point I realized the pattern went a little like this:
Single, my zest for life becomes palpable. And attracts a partner. Every time.
And then in a relationship…
Falling in love
Prioritizing that person
And the relationship
To the exclusion of other people
Suddenly, we’re so happy that we get fat and lazy on the couch together, staring into the glaring tube.
And then my partner forgets how magical they thought I was. Because I no longer am. Eventually, I forget too.
Osho says: “If you love a flower, don’t pick it up. Because if you pick it up it dies and ceases to be what you love. So if you love a flower, let it be. Love is not about possession. It’s about appreciation.”
I hear it all the time: “_________ is my whole life” or “I live for ________”. (Insert name of husband or child)
Life is an individual journey. You live alone in your body. Chances are, you’re also going to leave this world alone. And your dharma is yours alone. Fill your life with love, because you are love. But not the obsessive “your life is my life” sort of excuse for love. In my experience, the recipients of that type of love don’t wind up feeling loved, so much as owned, in the first place anyhow.
Me and a friend have been joking all year about the old expression “I love you to death”.
I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to love the life out of someone. I wanna love them to life. And want them to return the favor.
Nobody’s promised tomorrow. Eat well. Sleep well. Live well. Love well. NOW.